The Absence of Success is not the Presence of Failure

I can tell you as someone who has experience different forms of failure, failing is not easy! why?, because you most certainly did not set out to fail in the first place – and if you  my dear friend did set out to fail or have been called “someone who can do nothing but fail”, the you my friend are a WINNER! – you have managed to succeed at failing, which i can tell you is a mean feat in its own right.

Failing has so much mad press that we forget that only the lucky ones succeed the first time round. Yes, i used the forgiven word to hardworkers – Lucky. But i want you to read that word over and over again and tell yourself that hardwork + luck (or  good timing for the no-label users) = success, because no matter how hard you work and how many doors you knock, if your timing is off, you aren’t going to get the result you want.

I have failed several times over – I have gotten Fails in tests, a 2.2 degree, failed to show compassion in relationship, failed to get loads of jobs. I have failed! This, however does not make me a failure. I am not a failure because everytime I have failed, I have learnt one more way not to fail. I know I have one less way of failing because i have tried something and know not to go that exact route again. I found that learning what not to do is possibly the most effective (despite depressing) way of learning what best to do. The process of failing and failing before you succeed is not easy! It is a path that is sometimes very painful, very costly and downright depressing. BUT once you move past the pain and agony, once you put on your well-worn armour and brave face, you realise that you haven’t lost, you have just run into a pothole on the road to success and you need a change of tyres. At this point, don’t be afraid to fix your suspension (your support system, friends/family/mentors), recharge your batteries (get some rest, breath and reassess), change your oil (cv/job/study time/diet/anything), and have a look at your map (decide on the way forward). Once you have had a tune up, you can then have another go at succeeding.

It took me a few months to realise this process, but I did realise that me failing was not the end of the road. I learnt so much about life and myself in my attempt at succeeding that i stopped thinking of my lack of successes as fails, I began to see them as pit-stops on the way to success.  So, I leave you with the words of Edwin C. Bliss as you move from “failing” to succeeding with a backpocket of stories to remind you to that success is never out of your reach.

“Success does not mean the absence of failures.
It means the attainment of ultimate objectives.
It means winning the war, not every battle.” – Edwin C. Bliss


Success is an iceberg. Source Google (

Success is an iceberg. Source Google



My Journey to University

Today, I had to write a narrative about my journey to university for a refresher course as a student ambassador at my uni and this is the draft I wrote.

Unlike most ambassadors here today, QM is actually second university – and I do not meansecond choice. However, this is to be expected of someone doing their third degree spanning over 3
different subject areas (that is, if you exclude my 2 year dabble into medicine). And since I have been
told to give a narrative into my journey to university, I have decided to talk about my journey to QM; as it is by far more interesting. My journey here, standing in front of you today has
been filled bad news, more bad news, pep talks over home cooking and lots of random one-man flash mobs in class.

I was officially diagnosed with Chronic migraines in 2011; which thankfully is not a life threatening illness but it is definitely life altering. In the midst of brain scans, drug trials and part-time jobs to keep my finances alive, I went from being top of my game to “I’d just be happy to graduate alive”.
This was not helped by the mean HR lady who told me I would not get a pass grade at university neither would I get into Investment Banking. I had tomake a tough decision make – drop out of university for the time being and go back home or continue at university without support knowing
the highest grade I would achieve was a 2.2. I choose the 2.2, knowing it take lots of emotional bribery and a miracle to get where I wanted to be. And come August 2013, I got a miracle in form of
a last minute application to do a graduate diploma at QM. Why? They were willing to work around my medical history, giving me support and academic freedom to excel within a challenging environment.

So 1 half-sob, 20 chocolate soufflés, 46 in-class dance acts and 201 hugs of support later, I stand
proud before you as the perfect 4.0 GPA student doing an MSc in one of the best Universities a student can hope for. Oh, and I did get into investment banking

Feature: Hug My Hair

(World-wide shipping)

One of the UK’s emerging Natural Hair and Skin Care brands, Hug My Hair, has launched a
brand new Hair Care Line – 4Complete Coily Care. The range aims to offer the essential 4
steps to healthy hair, cleansing, hydrating, moisturising and sealing.

Dalilah Baruti, Founder and Manufacturer of the UK brand, explains: “When I made my first
formula for myself in my kitchen I never dreamt that within a year or two that I’d have my
own brand with eight products in my line, 1000+ Facebook fans, 1,500+ twitter followers and
a studio full of ingredients and packaging materials. All I ever wanted was to grow and retain
the length of my natural hair, naturally and I’m so grateful to be able to inspire others to do
the same. I tend to cover my hair the majority of the time – for religious reasons, so styling
products were not my priority concern, I care about enabling growth, promoting health and
maximising retention, and my products do just that.”

Hug My Hair is planning to launch additional formulas of shampoos focusing on dry to
normal hair, as well as a number of body butters and lip balms later in the year. The
4Complete Coily Care range is available to buy now at
Dalilah Baruti has been mixing-up natural and organic cosmetics for her handmade products
brand since its launch in 2013. When Dalilah suffered traction alopecia from wearing hair
extensions and overusing chemical relaxers, she set out on a mission to remain natural and
create her own line of 100% natural products to encourage growth and retain length. Her
products are suitable for those with naturally curly hair and Afro hair and are currently crafted
by her hands alone, using the most natural ingredients. By avoiding harsh chemicals and
synthetics, Hug My Hair brings cosmetic production back to (the loveliest) basics.

Most products are available in:

Regular (100g) – £12.00

Sample (30g) – £3.60

Order at

Dalilah on “How to hug your hair”

If this is the first time you’ve used a shampoo bar or hair butter, it couldn’t be simpler…

Step 1 – Section your hair into 4 – 6 twists

Step 2 – Untwist and wash one section at a time with the shampoo bar in the palm of your
hand, simply rub into damp hair to foam, massage, detangle rinse then re-twist

Step 3 – Pat your hair dry after cleansing, then undo each section one at a time, dabbing
your finger in the hair butter, rubbing to melt between your fingertips then

smooth through each area one by one from root to tip. Alternatively spray with multi-seed
hair oil and re-twist.
Step 4 – Once dry, untwist and style as usual. Topping up with Hair’negy Hydrating Hair
Spritz for added moisture when needed and Multi-seed hair oil for extra shine and softness
Step 5 – Love your hair!

Top tip: All hair butters are to be used as sealants, to lock the moisture in after
washing/spritzing so it is advised that these butters be used in damp hair only. Concentrating
on the ends of your hair will aid retention, as these are the oldest and most fragile parts of
your hair, they are the most likely to break!

Extra tip: Hug My Hair Hair Butters are 100% natural and are therefore fine to use on the
skin, one customer particularly likes to use it on her cracked heels!

*4Complete Coily Care products:


Because Olive You

Palm Down!…

Shea Truth

Seal n’ Shine

Hair’negy Hydrating Hair Spritz

Multi-seed Hair Oil

Coconut Cleanse Shampoo Bar

Ltd Edition: Super-foods Mango & Broccoli Shampoo Bar (you can purchase this at
Spitalfield’s Market on 22nd February, and the WITJ Natural Hair and Beauty Show on Bank
Holiday 5th
May 2014. See the events page at for more

About Dalilah:

Dalilah sources her ingredients, the staple being organic unrefined and Fairtrade shea butter
direct from farmers and small businesses; never tests products or ingredients on animals;
uses 100% recyclable or biodegradable materials where possible; and is handmade to order.
For more information, visit

Contact Information

Dalilah Baruti


Twitter: @HugMyHair



It is okay to change your plans

Your Plan v The Universe

Hello again people,

I know I say I would write more often but when you are as lazy as me, you mostly write in your head and not on my computer. I really should invest in a transcribing pen! Anyways, I thought I should write about something that I believe a lot of people faced with challenges in life face – THE FEAR OF CHANGING YOUR LIFE PLANS

You know what I mean… You had your goals written down in a little corner on the front page of your journal, You socialised to suit your goals and dreams, you map out your days to achieve that milestone – get £30k job by 23, and lets not forget the family with 2 kids by 30!!! Oh I have been there (maybe apart from the kids and family bit – I’m the crazy career girl). But let’s face it, “Life” did not get the memo when you were planning out your life.

The thing is that without these challenges or BUMPS, the final destination would not be so enjoyable. But to get there, You have to CHANGE WITH YOUR SITUATION.  And trust me, I know what I am talking about. You can’t expect to survive a trying time without making a few changes – simply because life changes us. I have suffered from Migraines for year now (formally for 3 years now) and I can tell you that it has changed me. Not because I let it beat me down but because I refused to let it destroy me. I knew I wouldn’t graduate with a 2.1 but that didn’t stop me from trying, I knew without a 2.1 I couldn’t start a Grad job an the investment bank. SO i decided to change my plans – no more Vice President of an Advisory/ Consulting Division at 34 (Yes, I did some calculations) and no more merry holiday plans of Bond investment as I had no money.

Instead I decided to do a Graduate Diploma – The least recognised graduate degree on the plant BUT it got me where I needed to be (a year ago), on a top Masters Degree – Yes, one of those ones you need a 1st class degree to get on AND yes I do have a 1st class now. I changed some of the things I do on a day-to-day basis and worked harder than I ever thought my lazy butt could manage.

Now I realise that it is not really about mapping out every single junction in my life plan, it is about being flexible, adaptable to life’s little dramas (I say little now, they didn’t seem little last summer when i had no job or little money) But it is about keeping the final destination in mind – Knowing where you want to be and looking at ALL ways to get there.

If you are still in doubt about coming off the conventional pathway to “success” then have a look at the picture below (not mine). I hope it shows you that there are many many ways to succeed and the fact that going to College (or dropping out to college) to pursue your dream is not working out the way you wanted it to doesn’t mean there is no other legal and ethical means to arrive at your final destination. Don’t be afraid to try something new.

lost in life



Please your success stories or challenges with me and everyone else – INSPIRE US TO SUCCEED!!!


Ciao x

So I ate broccoli today

You would think eating broccoli is not a big deal (once you’re over the age of 10 that is) but when you are someone who convinced herself at the age of 4 that they were evil then using an episode of powerpuff girls as evidence it is in fact a HUGE deal. In the 21 years of my existence, I do not remember consciously or unconsciously eating any form of broccoli – and boy did they try to get into my system in tasty quiche form.
Well, the moral of the story is that it is never too late to try something that terrifies you! You may look silly doing it, you may even not recognise yourself doing it BUT boy would you be smiling when you’ve got a new achievement under your belt – no one can call you crazy for being brave