The Absence of Success is not the Presence of Failure

I can tell you as someone who has experience different forms of failure, failing is not easy! why?, because you most certainly did not set out to fail in the first place – and if you  my dear friend did set out to fail or have been called “someone who can do nothing but fail”, the you my friend are a WINNER! – you have managed to succeed at failing, which i can tell you is a mean feat in its own right.

Failing has so much mad press that we forget that only the lucky ones succeed the first time round. Yes, i used the forgiven word to hardworkers – Lucky. But i want you to read that word over and over again and tell yourself that hardwork + luck (or  good timing for the no-label users) = success, because no matter how hard you work and how many doors you knock, if your timing is off, you aren’t going to get the result you want.

I have failed several times over – I have gotten Fails in tests, a 2.2 degree, failed to show compassion in relationship, failed to get loads of jobs. I have failed! This, however does not make me a failure. I am not a failure because everytime I have failed, I have learnt one more way not to fail. I know I have one less way of failing because i have tried something and know not to go that exact route again. I found that learning what not to do is possibly the most effective (despite depressing) way of learning what best to do. The process of failing and failing before you succeed is not easy! It is a path that is sometimes very painful, very costly and downright depressing. BUT once you move past the pain and agony, once you put on your well-worn armour and brave face, you realise that you haven’t lost, you have just run into a pothole on the road to success and you need a change of tyres. At this point, don’t be afraid to fix your suspension (your support system, friends/family/mentors), recharge your batteries (get some rest, breath and reassess), change your oil (cv/job/study time/diet/anything), and have a look at your map (decide on the way forward). Once you have had a tune up, you can then have another go at succeeding.

It took me a few months to realise this process, but I did realise that me failing was not the end of the road. I learnt so much about life and myself in my attempt at succeeding that i stopped thinking of my lack of successes as fails, I began to see them as pit-stops on the way to success.  So, I leave you with the words of Edwin C. Bliss as you move from “failing” to succeeding with a backpocket of stories to remind you to that success is never out of your reach.

“Success does not mean the absence of failures.
It means the attainment of ultimate objectives.
It means winning the war, not every battle.” – Edwin C. Bliss


Success is an iceberg. Source Google (

Success is an iceberg. Source Google