The Absence of Success is not the Presence of Failure

I can tell you as someone who has experience different forms of failure, failing is not easy! why?, because you most certainly did not set out to fail in the first place – and if you  my dear friend did set out to fail or have been called “someone who can do nothing but fail”, the you my friend are a WINNER! – you have managed to succeed at failing, which i can tell you is a mean feat in its own right.

Failing has so much mad press that we forget that only the lucky ones succeed the first time round. Yes, i used the forgiven word to hardworkers – Lucky. But i want you to read that word over and over again and tell yourself that hardwork + luck (or  good timing for the no-label users) = success, because no matter how hard you work and how many doors you knock, if your timing is off, you aren’t going to get the result you want.

I have failed several times over – I have gotten Fails in tests, a 2.2 degree, failed to show compassion in relationship, failed to get loads of jobs. I have failed! This, however does not make me a failure. I am not a failure because everytime I have failed, I have learnt one more way not to fail. I know I have one less way of failing because i have tried something and know not to go that exact route again. I found that learning what not to do is possibly the most effective (despite depressing) way of learning what best to do. The process of failing and failing before you succeed is not easy! It is a path that is sometimes very painful, very costly and downright depressing. BUT once you move past the pain and agony, once you put on your well-worn armour and brave face, you realise that you haven’t lost, you have just run into a pothole on the road to success and you need a change of tyres. At this point, don’t be afraid to fix your suspension (your support system, friends/family/mentors), recharge your batteries (get some rest, breath and reassess), change your oil (cv/job/study time/diet/anything), and have a look at your map (decide on the way forward). Once you have had a tune up, you can then have another go at succeeding.

It took me a few months to realise this process, but I did realise that me failing was not the end of the road. I learnt so much about life and myself in my attempt at succeeding that i stopped thinking of my lack of successes as fails, I began to see them as pit-stops on the way to success.  So, I leave you with the words of Edwin C. Bliss as you move from “failing” to succeeding with a backpocket of stories to remind you to that success is never out of your reach.

“Success does not mean the absence of failures.
It means the attainment of ultimate objectives.
It means winning the war, not every battle.” – Edwin C. Bliss

 

Success is an iceberg. Source Google (https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=absence+of+success+is+not+failure&safe=active&client=firefox-a&hs=xVV&rls=org.mozilla:en-GB:official&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=OZR8VIK0Hq2v7Ab68IHgBw&ved=0CAgQ_AUoAQ&biw=1920&bih=974#facrc=_&imgdii=_&imgrc=9jUQjYZb7BGN8M%253A%3BuoSnu-RNnx1nbM%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252F4.bp.blogspot.com%252F-778ynEBvxrE%252FVDwbiruUlqI%252FAAAAAAAAAUk%252FOsK6cXAsASg%252Fs1600%252Fsuccess%25252Bis%25252Ban%25252Biceberg.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fhelenaswordrobe.blogspot.com%252F%3B524%3B410)

Success is an iceberg. Source Google

 

It is okay to change your plans

Your Plan v The Universe

Hello again people,

I know I say I would write more often but when you are as lazy as me, you mostly write in your head and not on my computer. I really should invest in a transcribing pen! Anyways, I thought I should write about something that I believe a lot of people faced with challenges in life face – THE FEAR OF CHANGING YOUR LIFE PLANS

You know what I mean… You had your goals written down in a little corner on the front page of your journal, You socialised to suit your goals and dreams, you map out your days to achieve that milestone – get £30k job by 23, and lets not forget the family with 2 kids by 30!!! Oh I have been there (maybe apart from the kids and family bit – I’m the crazy career girl). But let’s face it, “Life” did not get the memo when you were planning out your life.

The thing is that without these challenges or BUMPS, the final destination would not be so enjoyable. But to get there, You have to CHANGE WITH YOUR SITUATION.  And trust me, I know what I am talking about. You can’t expect to survive a trying time without making a few changes – simply because life changes us. I have suffered from Migraines for year now (formally for 3 years now) and I can tell you that it has changed me. Not because I let it beat me down but because I refused to let it destroy me. I knew I wouldn’t graduate with a 2.1 but that didn’t stop me from trying, I knew without a 2.1 I couldn’t start a Grad job an the investment bank. SO i decided to change my plans – no more Vice President of an Advisory/ Consulting Division at 34 (Yes, I did some calculations) and no more merry holiday plans of Bond investment as I had no money.

Instead I decided to do a Graduate Diploma – The least recognised graduate degree on the plant BUT it got me where I needed to be (a year ago), on a top Masters Degree – Yes, one of those ones you need a 1st class degree to get on AND yes I do have a 1st class now. I changed some of the things I do on a day-to-day basis and worked harder than I ever thought my lazy butt could manage.

Now I realise that it is not really about mapping out every single junction in my life plan, it is about being flexible, adaptable to life’s little dramas (I say little now, they didn’t seem little last summer when i had no job or little money) But it is about keeping the final destination in mind – Knowing where you want to be and looking at ALL ways to get there.

If you are still in doubt about coming off the conventional pathway to “success” then have a look at the picture below (not mine). I hope it shows you that there are many many ways to succeed and the fact that going to College (or dropping out to college) to pursue your dream is not working out the way you wanted it to doesn’t mean there is no other legal and ethical means to arrive at your final destination. Don’t be afraid to try something new.

lost in life

 

 

Please your success stories or challenges with me and everyone else – INSPIRE US TO SUCCEED!!!

 

Ciao x

So I ate broccoli today

You would think eating broccoli is not a big deal (once you’re over the age of 10 that is) but when you are someone who convinced herself at the age of 4 that they were evil then using an episode of powerpuff girls as evidence it is in fact a HUGE deal. In the 21 years of my existence, I do not remember consciously or unconsciously eating any form of broccoli – and boy did they try to get into my system in tasty quiche form.
Well, the moral of the story is that it is never too late to try something that terrifies you! You may look silly doing it, you may even not recognise yourself doing it BUT boy would you be smiling when you’ve got a new achievement under your belt – no one can call you crazy for being brave