I gave up men because I am emotionally unavailable…

…well, at least I am trying to give up men (and no, I am not into women for all you wondering minds).
If there is one thing to know about me, it is that I do not do outward emotions very well. I can do HAPPY, dead-pan, TIRED, sad or angry (if I try hard enough) but I am what you normally call emotionally bankrupt. Except I am not emotionally bankrupt, I have plenty of emotions – mostly swinging between happy and totally (inwardly) distressed.

When it comes to life, I know how to put on my smiley brave face no matter what happens because I know I would be fine! Come rain, sunshine, an F or an A (it better be an A) on my midterms, I know I would figure something out.BUT when it comes to dating and relationships, the ball is not in my court. I have no control over everything that happens. Heck, I don’t even think I have control over 10% of what happens. Which mean, I have no clue whatsoever if I would be fine. And that scares the crap out of me because I am broken. I am broken, by past mistakes, past relationships and past experiences. And I am not willing to fix myself only for someone to pick me apart – so I am emotionally unavailable!

Being emotionally unavailable is actually more common than you may think. If you are the type of guy or girl that is only attracted to men and women already in relationships, then my dear you are emotionally unavailable because you know deep down you do not want to be in a relationship. You cannot stand the thought of you opening up yourself to the possibility of being hurt. So you got through the motion of “dating” just to satisfy the need to be with someone else.

Well, I am done with that because believe it or not, someone still gets hurt. Being me, I would always be the one hurt because no matter how things go, the pain I feel is either from being hurt or the guilt from me hurting someone without knowing it. SO I QUIT